Gaining Real Self-Confidence through Competence
Children will only truly believe in themselves when they have done something competently, something to feel good about. And it is involvement in real things in the real world that leads to such competence. The home provides a natural training ground where even the very young child can feel valued and have a sense of belonging, as he or she contributes while at the same time learning life skills in the family.
As your child’s coordination, ability, and understanding increase, so can her level of responsibility in the home. She can also learn the value of constructive feedback in learning to do chores well. According to Damon,
Children must learn to hear negative as well as positive feedback, to care about it and to act on it. This can only occur in relationships where they have full respect for the person who offers the child feedback. It is best for children to learn this while young, well before the adolescent years.… The only effective route is through a continuing succession of specific actions and achievements, such as taking on genuine family responsibilities around the house [emphasis added]. The process must be sustained, in small and large ways, over the years. There is no quick fix.
We have the tools we need to produce self-confident, competent children. We must give our children real things to do in a stable predictable routine so they can know they are needed and important, and then we must praise them for doing something real.
Life Skills For Kids: Equipping Your Child For The Real World
by Christine M. Field
I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. ~ 3 John 4