Lay a foundation of unconditional love.

Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell explain this idea well:

We need to fill our children’s emotional tanks with unconditional love, because real love is always unconditional. Unconditional love is a full love that accepts and affirms a child for who he is, not for what he does.… Sadly, parents often display a love that is conditional; it depends on something other than their children just being. Conditional love is based on performance and is often associated with training techniques that offer gifts, rewards, and privileges to children who behave or perform in desired ways. Of course, it is necessary to train and/or discipline our children—but only after their emotional tanks have been filled. Those tanks can be filled with only one premium fuel: unconditional love.… Only unconditional love can prevent problems such as resentment, feelings of being unloved, guilt, fear, and insecurity. Only as we give our children unconditional love will we be able to deeply understand them and deal with their behaviors, whether good or bad.

When we are certain in our own minds that our love for our children is unwavering, whether or not their room is cleaned, then we can begin the less intimate task of establishing consequences for their work behavior in the home.

Life Skills For Kids: Equipping Your Child For The Real World

by Christine M. Field

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. ~ 3 John 4

Dad