Although man will live forever, death looks certain. According to a report from…
GENEVA, SWITZERLAND–World Health Organization officials expressed disappointment Monday at the group’s finding that, despite the enormous efforts of doctors, rescue workers and other medical professionals worldwide, the global death rate remains constant at 100 percent.
Death, a metabolic affliction causing total shutdown of all life functions, has long been considered humanity’s number one health concern. Responsible for 100 percent of all recorded fatalities worldwide, the condition has no cure.
WHO Director General Dr. Gernst Bladt said, “I was really hoping, what with all those new radiology treatments, rescue helicopters, aerobics TV shows and what have you, that we might at least make a dent in it this year,”. “Unfortunately, it would appear that the death rate remains constant and total, as it has inviolably since the dawn of time.”
Many are suggesting that the high mortality rate represents a massive failure on the part of the planet’s health care workers.
“The inability of doctors and scientists to adequately address this issue of death is nothing less than a scandal,” concerned parent Marcia Gretto said. “Do you have any idea what a full-blown case of death looks like? Well, I do, and believe me, it’s not pretty. In prolonged cases, total decomposition of the corpse is the result.” “What about the children?” the visibly moved Gretto added.
Robert Hemmlin of Citizens for Safety said, “At this early date, I don’t want to start making broad generalizations, but it is beginning to seem possible that birth–as well as the subsequent life cycle that follows it–may be a serious safety risk for all those involved.”
Experts say death affects not only the dead, but the non-dead as well. “Those who suffer from death can be highly traumatized by it, often so severely that it kills them,” noted therapist Eli Wasserbaum said. “But it can also be very traumatic for the still-living who are left behind. The sudden cessation of metabolic activity characteristic of terminal cases of death often leaves the dead person in a position where they are unable to adequately provide for the emotional needs of their loved ones.”
Jesus, putting an end to the agony of death since 30 A.D. ~ Acts 2:24