Tag Archives: Raising Kids

The Beauty of Jealousy

I was listening to my daughter talk about a time in her early teens when she was extremely jealous over a boy she liked. That feeling became destructive and cost her two friends.

Jealousy is back, not in her own life but in her friend’s. She is dealing with it differently too. Her friend became jealous of her. Her answer to him in part was to state her own boundaries regarding jealousy. She said to him, “If I do such and such it makes you feel jealous. If you did such and such I would not feel jealous.”  Well, at least they are talking about it.

I asked her, “What is the purpose of jealousy? Why do we at times feel jealous? Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Why did God give us or allow us to have feelings of jealousy? Is jealousy something we want to keep in our relationships or something we want to keep out of our relationships?”

I then began to explain a point that came to my mind after the reading of chapter 1 of the Abolition of Man. Is a thing good because you ascribe value to it or is a thing good because in and of itself it is good?

The first part of this book is a discussion around two people’s perception of a waterfall. One says it is pretty and the other says it is sublime. A third person is bothered by this difference of opinion. All this led me to formulate my question regarding the true nature of goodness; is beauty in the eye of the beholder or does it exist on its own? A simpler way to think about this might be to state the question in an opposite fashion like this: Is a thing evil because I don’t like it or can a thing be evil in and of itself?

I proceeded to say to my daughter that if beauty or goodness or evil exists on its own than there is something outside of ourselves, something even outside of our relationships, something beyond us that we would do well to long for if it is good and despise if it were evil.  And isn’t it because of this good beyond ourselves that jealousy finds its proper place in our lives? Jealousy is a powerful feeling at times and can be mishandled, but the proper role of it is to empower us or to help us preserve the good, the very good we desire in another when we say we love them.

Those are my thoughts.  What are your thoughts regarding the questions I’ve asked?  I’d like to hear what they are.

The College Admissions Scandal: A Call to Action


" ACTA has repeatedly warned of what is at the very core of this scandal: an overwhelming focus on prestige in college choice, rather than educational quality. Rather than valuing an institution for its demonstrated commitment to rigorous academic standards and to student achievement, too many American families view the name on a bumper sticker or diploma as a status symbol, like the designer name on a handbag.

ACTA has been working to fight the commodification of higher education for years. Our annual core curriculum report, What Will They Learn?, highlights a list of “Hidden Gems” that have a rigorous core curriculum at an affordable price. The report also generally finds that the most prestigious schools shirk their responsibility to promote a core set of knowledge and skills. There are hundreds of affordable institutions across the country that are deeply committed to student success, and we must all look to support them. "

Abort Abortion Before Abortion Aborts You


Current status found here Legislation – New Mexico Legislature https://www.nmlegis.gov/Legislation/Legislation?chamber=H&legtype=B&legno=51&year=19 2019 Regular Session – HB 51


New Mexico close to passing ‘most extreme bill in nation’ on abortion – Catholic Philly


  • Now New Mexico is one step closer to passing a similar bill that loosens the state’s already liberal abortion laws and would erase virtually all abo rtion restrictions in the event that the landmark Supreme Court decision Roe v. Wade is overturned.

    The “Decriminalize Abortion Bill,” or H.B. 51, has now made its way through the New Mexico House of Representatives, receiving the body’s overall approval in a 40-29 floor vote Feb. 6 after being confirmed by several committees. It is now headed for the Senate, where it will be the subject of further debate and another vote.

    According to the Santa Fe New Mexican daily newspaper, there are three main parts of New Mexico’s pre-Roe abortion law that would be invalidated by the act: a prohibition that makes abortion a felony; language that permits abortions in some circumstances as determined by a physician, such as rape or threat to a mother’s life; and an opt-out provision for hospitals or providers that register moral or religious objections to performing the procedure.



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Why Family?

The family is the basic cell of society in accord with the natural order of things. It gives stability to society and is the ideal climate for the formation of children. Moreover, the family was elevated by Our Lord Jesus Christ who instituted the Sacrament of Matrimony.

Why Tradition Family Property – TFP Student Action

Boosting Self-Esteem

In addition to attributional style, a related issue that has been studied is self-esteem. Children with relatively high self-esteem typically exhibit related positive attributes. They tend to try new things more frequently. They tend to be more flexible thinkers and better problem solvers. When they fail—and we all do—they are more likely to attribute the failure to the situation and less to their own inabilities.

Studies have consistently shown benefits from self-esteem–boosting procedures. The benefits have been quite variable, ranging from improvements in children’s sense of satisfaction and happiness to improvements in schoolwork. Some studies have found that physical health improves, as well.  The most effective procedures have typically aimed directly at the child’s self-concept. Not every child draws his or her self-esteem from schoolwork. Some may be good at athletics, or art, or music.  Parents should help their children find at least one activity that the children truly enjoy doing and from which they can draw a sense of self-satisfaction.

Scientific Secrets for Raising Kids Who Thrive

P. Vishton

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. ~ 3 John 4


Changing Attributional Style: Experiment 2

In another experimental condition in the same study, the researchers provided all the attributions themselves.  When a child succeeded with a sentence, the experimenter would say, “That was good. That means you tried hard.” After an error, the experimenter would say, “No, you didn’t get that. That means you have to try harder.”  Listening to this adult figure make the attributions led to improvements in both reading and attributional style. Children learn their attribution styles, to a large extent, from their parents and teachers. To improve your child’s attribution styles, an important first step is to improve your own.

Tips for Parents

Model good attributional style for your children. When you or your children fail, seek to describe that failure, as much as possible, in terms of external, unstable, and/or context-specific causes.

Scientific Secrets for Raising Kids Who Thrive

P. Vishton

I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth. ~ 3 John 4